Letter To My Present Self: My Guide to Early Twenties.

This week I approach my 22^nd birthday, another year older and most definitely wiser. You know those years that are filled with consistent highs and pure happiness? Yeah well this year has definitely not been that for me at all! Quite the contrary. But with struggle comes ample growth so I am appreciative.

So here is a letter to my present self, advice about the things to focus on in such a significant part of my life.

Dear Kaitlyn, or at this stage Kaity/Darling…

Right now you are in arguably one of the most lost stages of life, so remember that you are able to deal with circumstances far worse than you ever believe you can. Know that your lowest of lows result in an even higher high. Remember not to compare pain because pain is not relative to circumstance, pain is relative to experience. Your ability to cope with situations is relative to the experiences that have equipped you to deal with them. Forgiveness is strength not weakness and is a lesson that you’re going to learn in order to free yourself.

Reminder that mental wellbeing is fluid and the garden that is your mind will flourish according to how you fuel it. Just because you’ve never struggled doesn’t mean you won’t ever, and just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you always will. Take comfort in this. Above all things just do you and take care of every aspect of yourself.

Your life is 100% happier and more empowered when external elements of your life such as friendships/relationships, conversations, surroundings, experiences, even your appearance, reflects what you value and what makes you spark internally. Despite all external pressures telling you to believe otherwise, you know that you place no value on materialistic possessions. Surround yourself with the items and people that bring you confidence, content and joy then remove the physical and emotional clutter that comes with carrying the rest.

This stage of your life is all about that drive, the drive you feel and have to create the life that you want. Now you’re in the midst of it making it happen. The importance of critical self reflection and goal setting has never been greater. Your continued travel goals will give your life purpose in more ways than one.

On a more practical side, No job is a bad job! Seize the opportunity that comes with each of your jobs, absorb it and move on when you feel you need to. Don’t feel any shame in the jobs you feel don’t reflect where you want or deserve to be. It is all part of the process of getting you where you are supposed to be. Don’t feel the pressure to conform to routine, you know you hate it, so strive for a life with equal balance of stability and diversity.

Lastly, if there is one thing that you take from this letter it is this… RID YOUR LIFE OF ALL ASSUMPTIONS! Despite you thinking a person is to blame, assumptions cause all conflicts in your life.

Everyone has their own truth and making the assumption that they have the same as you is only going to result in misunderstanding and stagnancy.

Get rid of the assumption and picture of how life’s ‘supposed’ to be. Instead focus on how it feels and how it is supposed to be FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. Remove the assumption that ‘relationships at this age never last’, or that developing the career you desire ‘doesn’t ever happen like that’ and make it happen like that.

You are worried you will fail but you NEVER WILL. You are worried that the relationship/friendships won’t work out, or you won’t ever come into the perfect job for you, or that you’ll take the ‘wrong’ path but you NEVER will. You will only learn and lead where you’re supposed to go. Take comfort in this and wholeheartedly dive into your endeavours. If it makes you think (not feel) ‘this may not work out’- then that’s exactly what you should do.

Trust your intuition not your over thinking.

Most importantly trust the process and give everything to your faith. Your faith in yourself and your faith in the universe. Know that you’ll get to the place you need to be, wherever that is… your place of happiness.