5 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN STUCK IN A RUT

Let’s face it, in life we are constantly stuck in situations. Stuck in a dead-end job not knowing what other path to take. Stuck studying a subject you don’t even like. Stuck living at home with your parents wanting to move out. Stuck single wanting a relationship. Stuck in a relationship with no growth or not knowing whether you’re in the right relationship. Sound familiar to anyone? I’m absolutely not an expert in all these topics, but these are the things I make myself remember to become okay with feeling stuck. Because I do feel like an expert in that field!

1. You are working towards doing something whether you know it or not. Give yourself some credit because despite how it may look the rest of us are feeling the same in one way or another! This is not an excuse if you know you could be doing more to get to where you want to be. It is reassurance that despite what you think, you are progressing. Even if you believe you feel stuck the mere life experience doing what you’re doing, the conversations, the memories, the time and especially the mistakes are going to contribute to finding your way. Helping gain clarity deciding what you want and just as importantly what you don’t want.

2. Don’t always listen to your family/those closest to you. Although it goes against everything we have learnt because they only want what’s best for us, sometimes that can hinder us as they don’t ever want to see us fail or unhappy. But maybe we need that lesson. They may not know the desire our soul craves by living in a country that isn’t our own. They don’t feel the intense love we feel for the person that may have wronged us and yet we can’t help forgive anyway. Equally they don’t know the lack of emotional fulfilment by staying in that comfortable long term relationship. They don’t know the spark you feel for what they deem as the risky career pursuit. The people around us love us so much they never want to see us fall but sometimes that can mask them seeing what could make our soul fly.

3. Let go of the shame of no longer or not knowing what to do! My entire life I was known as the girl who had everything sorted and was going to succeed at what I wanted to do. So when it came to the time that I realised what I had been working towards wasn’t the direction I needed to go, I struggled. I felt that my degree was a waste of time and money now that I wasn’t going to ‘use it’. Let go of the shame and the embarrassment that you no longer know something or that you don’t know what you want to begin with! Let go of the fact you have invested so much time and memories into the relationship and admit that it’s not working. How can you possibly know which direction to take when you don’t know the destination. Instead choose the destination as a way of thinking rather than a place because life isn’t a destination. Let go of your shame and confusion and change it into an appreciation to fuel your soul with experiences and relationships you want. Become okay with being lost.

4. Extra study, experiences, relationships and knowledge is never a waste of time or money, irrespective of your obvious ‘use’ of them. Look back on the relationships, qualifications or even just years of life and think about how much you have changed as person in that time. The subjects I studied at University that weren’t my majors were the subjects that taught me more about myself than I ever could have thought. Equally the relationships/friendships I’m no longer in have influenced my perspectives, values and beliefs, showing me what makes me spark, where my strengths lie and what is most important to me. Appreciate the potential each experience and education has in enriching your life.

5. TRAVEL AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, AS FAR AS YOU CAN. In the time I lived in Japan I learned more about myself than what feels like the 19 years prior. When distanced from everything my society and culture shaped me to be, I was more accurately able to see who I was truly was and who I want to be. When you are put somewhere where the cultural norms differ so significantly to those you’re used to, a place where you get so much raw honesty and diversity, it challenges you to question why your life is the way that it is and why we think and feel the things we do. It is then you will gain clarity on where you’re going.